June 21, 2013

The summer solstice,
an almost full moon? Let's sweat,
be humid, mate, love.

uncranky

I have been flustered all day.
I can't seem to shake being frustrated.
I can't seem to get uncranky.
I keep forgetting things, missing things, overlooking.

Driving back from lunch, where I dropped a bottle of wine in the parking lot of where I had purchased the wine, I thought of this poem (one of my favorites).

Accept the hour badly spent.

*

One Art, by Elizabeth Bishop

The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.

Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant 
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

—Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied.  It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

awareness

The most difficult thing you will ever have to do in America is learn to read English.

And you have to do it when you're five years old. You have to be done doing it by the time you're about eight years old, or you will likely be permanently behind on some academic level.

It is really, really hard to learn how to read, but it is especially hard to read English. Our language is full of ridiculous combinations of silent vowels ("question") and consonants that combine to make new sounds (g + h = f)... sometimes all in the same word ("laughter")! We have homonyms, rules that have more exceptions than the rule applies to, and a lot of other things that are terribly difficult things to get correctly as adults, much less at an age when all of your teeth are falling out.

So, thank your teachers and parents and all other adults who made sure you could read this. And congratulations for this accomplishment!

*

The most difficult thing you will ever have to do as a human being is learn to forgive.

phone calls

I am
an expert
at silence.

my father moved...

I have so much to say about fathers, and I hope to have more time later this week to write about them.

For now, I'm posting one of the first things I thought of this morning when I awoke.

To all who are fathers: Happy Day. I hope you will all model the kindness we need more men to have and to show and to be. Because love is the whole and more than all.

*

by ee cummings

my father moved through dooms of love
through sames of am through haves of give,
singing each morning out of each night
my father moved through depths of height

this motionless forgetful where
turned at his glance to shining here;
that if(so timid air is firm)
under his eyes would stir and squirm

newly as from unburied which
floats the first who,his april touch
drove sleeping selves to swarm their fates
woke dreamers to their ghostly roots

and should some why completely weep
my father's fingers brought her sleep:
vainly no smallest voice might cry
for he could feel the mountains grow.

Lifting the valleys of the sea
my father moved through griefs of joy;
praising a forehead called the moon
singing desire into begin

joy was his song and joy so pure
a heart of star by him could steer
and pure so now and now so yes
the wrists of twilight would rejoice

keen as midsummer's keen beyond
conceiving mind of sun will stand,
so strictly(over utmost him
so hugely) stood my father's dream

his flesh was flesh his blood was blood:
no hungry man but wished him food;
no cripple wouldn't creep one mile
uphill to only see him smile.

Scorning the Pomp of must and shall
my father moved through dooms of feel;
his anger was as right as rain
his pity was as green as grain

septembering arms of year extend
yes humbly wealth to foe and friend
than he to foolish and to wise 
offered immeasurable is

proudly and(by octobering flame
beckoned)as earth will downward climb,
so naked for immortal work
his shoulders marched against the dark

his sorrow was as true as bread:
no liar looked him in the head;
if every friend became his foe
he'd laugh and build a world with snow.

My father moved through theys of we,
singing each new leaf out of each tree
(and every child was sure that spring
danced when she heard my father sing)

then let men kill which cannot share,
let blood and flesh be mud and mire,
scheming imagine,passion willed,
freedom a drug that's bought and sold

giving to steal and cruel kind,
a heart to fear,to doubt a mind,
to differ a disease of same,
conform the pinnacle of am

though dull were all we taste as bright,
bitter all utterly things sweet,
maggoty minus and dumb death
all we inherit,all bequeath

and nothing quite so least as truth
--i say though hate were why men breathe--
because my Father lived his soul
love is the whole and more than all

loyalty

I moved to New Orleans and developed an allergy to live oak.

I grew up on "South Live Oak Parkway," so, no irony is lost on me.

So for about a month every year, I am unable to wear contact lenses or eye makeup because my eyes are allergic to the air. This is not an exaggeration.

I'm blonde. Mascara is my stranded island beauty product. I do not appear to have eyes unless I am wearing at least 18 coats of mascara.

I tweeted something to this effect (obviously, more succinctly), and the Skin Studio wrote back something like "Have you ever tried an eyelash tint?"

You, ma'am, are doing social media correctly!

So I booked with Ashley. It changed my life. I decided on a combo lash/brow tint for $30, which was a great deal. After 20 minutes with Ashley, I don't feel like an albino misfit if I leave the house without eye makeup. I don't have to spend four minutes filling in my eyebrows, which are 80% of one's facial expression, as I need 100% of my facial expression.

I look like I am wearing mascara when I am not. All of my lashes, from the roots to the tips, are a color no blonde owns naturally but every one wishes she did.

I really cannot speak highly enough to this beauty treatment.

Last week, it was time to do it again. Ashley was booked at the time I needed, so I went with one of her colleagues and was so disappointed in the results that I went back yesterday for a redo with Ashley.

They compensated my entire service.

Ashley now has a client for life, and I think you should consider becoming one, too.

learning to say "no"

People beg because it works.

Every day on my way to work, a man is at this particular intersection, begging.

And nearly every day, someone gives him money.

If he gets a dollar for every time the light changes, he is making close to $100/hour. And he's making it in cash, so there's no FICA or IRS.

I will buy someone food. I will give someone a bottle of water, especially if s/he has a pet. My career has basically been built upon loving my neighbor.

I'm not mad at the beggar, because clearly he's the smart one, making so much money he can probably quit his corner and start spending his cash before it gets really hot.

I'm mad at the enablers.